I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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