Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize