I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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