What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Damn victory sex feels great
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize