in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize