this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
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i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
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Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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