I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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