3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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