i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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