It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize