Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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