Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
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Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
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He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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