This is not my ceiling
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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