What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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