in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
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both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
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I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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