At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize