no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize