Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize