she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize