then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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