We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
my liver is dry heaving
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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