I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize