i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who died my cat blue again?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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