The maid of honor just puked.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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