I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I think people are normalizing furries
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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