I want to have your abortion
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize