she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize