We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
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Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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