Screwed.edu
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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