Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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