I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i think my mom watched the whole time
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
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