i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
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I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
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6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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