no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize