I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize