seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
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I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
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You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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