I CAN MOONWALK!
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize