You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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