can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
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