She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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