is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
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