I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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