guys are not supposed to queef...right?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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