we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
My cat gives me a boner
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize