..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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