Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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