What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
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he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
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Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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