dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
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