We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize