Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
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But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
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So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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