Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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